How to create a loving family environment

chiemiruthishida
Mar 16
4 min read

Do you have a loving family? Or do you think that your family relationships could improve? Here I will explore some of the things that I think makes a beautiful family.

Supporting each other
In an ideal world, the family unit is a safe haven for individuals where they can grow, explore and use as a safe base to venture out into the world. It can be hard to leave the house you grew up in and make your own way in the world, so having a family that you can rely upon if something ever went wrong is a real blessing. Not just that, but a family that is supportive of you when the world may tear you down, or a family that encourages you when you have no motivation left is a very precious thing.
Having fun together
All families have their rules, routines and expectations, but I think that families that intentionally make the time to have fun together and enjoy each other's company are incredible. Although it takes time, effort and organisation from all family members, the memories you can make together can be treasured for a lifetime. Family members should not just be taken for granted, or worse yet ignored as an annoying daily presence but appreciated for who they are and what they do for each other.
Loving each other wholeheartedly
A great family is one where love is unconditional. You should not have to follow in the footsteps of a family's legacy or achieve a certain grade to be loved. Of course, there may be disappointment and hurt, but ultimately a loving family will still love each other even if other members of the family didn't live to expectations. Loving each other wholeheartedly also means that you are willing to make sacrifices for each other and that you treat those that matter to you with the same respect and love you would treat yourself.
Always thinking of making the best decision for each other
This idea may not be so popular in our modern day individualistic world, but I think that sometimes the best families are the ones that make a lot of sacrifices for each other. Rather than living independently together -a phrase I like to use to describe how you could all be living under the same roof side by side and yet never actually letting your life pathways cross by doing things together- it is key to think about others when planning your life. This can be achieved by making choices that benefit other members of the family at a personal sacrifice to you, (with other members of the family doing the same thing for you) or by keeping in mind how your decisions will affect the lives of others.
The reason why this improves family dynamics is because by putting other family members first, it reinforces to yourself that family is one of your top priorities, so your energy and effort go into the relationship. If you make a decision that may not be in your top interests but that leads to overall happiness in the family, it shows how family is just as important, if not more important, than you living your life independent of everyone else's. Another beneficial result of this dependency is that you feel responsible for others, giving you a strong sense of belonging and connection, something that is lacking in a lot of western relationships.
However, this relationship dynamic only works if all members of the family are involved and invested in this kind of relationship. Although it may seem sacrificial at times, it is still a give-and-take relationship that must be reciprocated for it to be healthy rather than exploitative.
Being open and non-judgemental
In a world that is highly critical, comparative and judgemental, family should be there for guidance and support through the ups and downs of life rather than another source of shame and beratement. Although it is extremely hard to watch a loved one go down a path you would rather them not to, it is important to remember that there are reasons for everything, and rather than judging someone, it is more productive to question things. Sometimes, they may have just made a mistake. Other times, they may have found a different way of life that you never knew of. Everyone is struggling and questioning and testing the boundaries of their lives. Trying to understand the view point of others, rather than trying to force them into seeing things the way you do will lead to much fewer arguments and much greater understanding even if you don't agree with what they say or do.
Family members have no fear of talking about deep topics and emotions
The depth of a relationship can be measured by how comfortable people feel sharing their most inner thoughts, dreams and fears. You can only share your raw, unfiltered self with those you love and trust completely, and that trust can only be built by slowly and regularly talking about your thoughts and feelings to see if you can really depend upon someone or not. Therefore, to cultivate a loving and supportive family, a family needs regular times to share with each other not just what they did, but what they hope to do, how they feel and what they are struggling with.
(Although sometimes it is nice to talk to friends about these things because we don’t choose our family, so they may not always be the best person to speak to. Also, we may not want to disappoint family members, so it is not always advisable to share everything with everyone. Just share what is necessary to build a relationship with the person you are interacting with.)