It is more blessed to give than to receive

Our world is full of contradictions. For example, sometimes having less can make you think you have more as you learn to value what you have. Another example would be that when you learn more, it can make you feel like you know less. It is the same when it comes to giving and receiving. Both are important, but giving is arguably more important than receiving.

The importance of giving

At a surface level, it may seem like receiving something is greater than giving something. After all, if we give something away, we do not have it anymore. However, if you look at the things many of us think we want, such as wealth, respect, leadership and power, all of those things rely on giving generously. Adding value to people's lives (aka giving) often results in better outcomes for ourselves as well those that we give to. Business owners become rich because they make a product that benefits many people. Leaders gain power because they give their time and energy to organise, coordinate and help all of those whom they are leading. Leadership is by nature is a position of giving and responsibility towards many people.

However, just because leadership requires generous giving does not mean that all leaders are good at being a leader though. This is because being a good leader depends on the motives behind giving, and how they conduct themselves in relation to others. The same goes for giving on a much smaller scale.

The mindset behind giving

Although giving generously often results in benefits for ourselves, giving should not be an act done to receive something. An act of generosity in its purest form is done for the sake of itself. If you give with the expectation of receiving, you are not thinking about how you will benefit another person, but how you will benefit yourself. The joy of giving is fully felt when you give because you want to, because you love and care for the person you are giving to, and because you want to see them in a better position than before.

However, this does not mean that you have to sacrifice yourself or give at the detriment of your own well-being as that is harmful in another way. As a Buddhist would say, generosity should be practiced in a balanced way so that giving is a blessing for both the giver and the receiver. Giving is more like an act of sharing. We all have an excess of something that we can share with others so that we can all benefit from the different blessings that we all receive.

The importance of receiving

Now, although a mindset of giving puts us in a better position than a mindset of receiving as we are not dependent on an external source to validate us and make us feel good, learning to receive a gift from someone else is also important. Many people who are good givers are often poor receivers as their identity is tied to giving, so they could not possibly accept help or gifts from someone else when that is their perceived job or role for themselves. However, this is arguably a selfish mentality as the only thing they are achieving out of this encounter is to boost their own ego of being morally superior and hurting someone else at the same time.

This is because when someone is trying to offer help or a gift, they are showing you that they care about you, but if you reject that offer of love and connection, it is as if you are rejecting them. It is almost the same as you telling them that you do not want them to share your life in a meaningful way. This is something that I used to mistake all the time. I thought that I should be the one to always give and never receive a compliment, gift, or ask someone for help. I thought I was being humble and good by not accepting another person's praise or attention. However, I have come to realise that accepting the compliment, gift or help is an act of humility as it requires you to accept that you cannot do things all on your own. It also reminds you that you are not alone, but part of a supportive community that look out for each other, and that no-one is greater than another.

(For example, when someone receives a gift that you give them and says "thank you", you feel very happy. If they were to reject your gift and say "no, no, I couldn't possibly accept that!", you would feel hurt and confused. So do the other person a favour and accept their gift with gratitude and humility! You can always take this moment to give back to them by lavishing words of thanks upon them, or by giving back a small gift in return!)

Conclusion

In conclusion, giving is greater than receiving because it improves both our own lives and the lives of others. Being in a mindset of giving means that you are not dependant on external cues of love and acceptance, but that you are able to love and connect, therefore you feel like taking responsibility for the welfare of those around you by giving generously. However, just because you become good at giving does not mean that you should ignore the importance of receiving. Receiving acts as a reminder for us to be humble, grateful and aware of those that support us in our own lives.

Summary

-> Giving/ adding value to other people's lives is a common factor shared amongst highly successful people.

-> However, true giving does not occur with the expectation of gaining rewards or favours, but done because the person wants to.

-> Receiving should be practiced as an act of humility, gratitude and connection and it reminds us that we depend upon others in our own lives and that we cannot do things alone.