Knowing you are loved versus feeling loved

When Zavian returned home, he called out to his mother “I’m home!”

     “Welcome back, Zavian!” his mother replied. “Don’t forget to take your shoes off and wash your hands. Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes!” 

     So Zavian went to the bathroom sink and turned the tap on. He loved washing his hands as he could spin the knob one way to make water come out, and spin the knob the other way and the water would stop flowing. It gave him an immense amount of satisfaction to know that he could make water rush out quickly, trickle out slowly or not come out at all. After he had washed his hands (and yes, used extra water than necessary - or maybe it was totally necessary as it made washing his hands so much more fun) he sat up at the table with eager eyes and a good appetite.

     “My, my, my!” his mother laughed. “You look like a little puppy with big shining eyes!” So just for good measure, Zavian stuck his tongue out as well and panted a few times. 

     “I love you so much!” his mother chuckled. 

     Suddenly, Zavian’s face took the form of a serious and thoughtful expression. “You know something, mum?” he asked. “You say ‘I love you’ and I know it’s true, but that’s not the same as feeling loved is it?” 

     “No, my son, it’s not the same,” his mother replied. “Some people spend their whole lives loving someone, but they never manage to make that person feel loved by them.” “For example, I tell you ‘I love you’, but I also give you hugs, cook you delicious food and take you to your favourite parks.”

    “Yes!” Zavian exclaimed. “And you also tell me every time you do something for me that you were thinking of me. That helps me really know you love me. It also helps me not to take things for granted as you make me aware that you are going out of your way to do something nice for me, and then I can be extra grateful.”

    “I’m glad to hear that!” his mother smiled. “Let’s enjoy our dinner together!”